7 Signs You’re An Erotica Writer…

7 Signs You’re An Erotica Writer…


You make constant dick jokes when watching TV and movies

When my husband and I watch TV, if there’s a couple of guys who are too close (physically or emotionally) I talk about how they want to rub their dicks together. It’s fun to imagine characters together when romance or sex has nothing to do with the plot of the show. Plus it makes my husband laugh.

After a romp in the hay, you think about what things you did would be fun to write in your next sex scene.

Or you have to do the deed to test out a move or flick of the tongue that you wrote and aren’t sure is physically possible.

You read a book from another genre and get annoyed when there’s a lack of sex.

I mean, come on! Especially if there’s a romance and they do the whole “fade to black” or just never talk about the two people fucking. How boring.

You struggle when picking character names.

Because so many are off limits due to family members and how could you possible pick the name of your brother and write your other characters shouting their name in ecstasy when they come?!

You live half your internet life in “incognito mode”.

Because as much as you do some practice of techniques or have past experiences, some things you just have to Google and you really don’t want your 5 year old finding out what frot/frottage or an airtight seal is.

You know all your readers assume that if you write about BDSM, you are in the lifestyle.

If you write about lesbians, you must be one. If you write about a foot fetish, you must have one.

You still haven’t told your parents what/that you write.

And you constantly worry and wonder if would it be better for them to know you write smut or for them to be reading your work without knowing it’s yours?


Photo Credit: Tony Di Messi via Compfight cc

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  1. Ha I hate the sex fade-to-black. Or when they start kissing lightly, and he lays her backwards on the bed, then it cuts scene, the message being that you start kissing, you lay the girl back on the bed, and sex will automatically follow.

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