Why Sex and Romance are Intertwined
Are you ready to get a little personal today?
I’ve always been the kind of person who is honest and upfront and tells the truth. But I don’t talk about sex much. Not because I don’t want to but because it’s such a taboo subject. It’s not something you talk about in “polite” company, you can’t go around telling people you like to fuck or write stories about fucking because…well I don’t know why, but that’s just the way it is.
So if you don’t want to hear it, close this page now because we’re talking about it.
From the fact that I’m an erotica author, you can probably gleam this truth but I’ll tell it in plain words. I like sex. It’s fun, it’s hot, it’s exciting.
And now I’m going to get all sappy on you and tell you that it is an essential part of romance and love. For me, sex is all about showing emotion, it’s intimate. It’s the way I connect with my husband and the way I feel his love and compassion toward me.
Sex isn’t bad or shameful.
For me, sex = love.
Sex is one of the most important things in a romantic relationship. At least for me it is, for you it might be different and as long as your values line up with your partner that’s a-okay!
If there isn’t sex, then we’re just friends who share a bed (and we don’t do that often because toddler).
My husband and I have been together for 11 years and the first time we had real fights was just after our son was born. Newborns can do that to you, just a heads up. And then not much for about 2 years when suddenly my sex drive was higher and his was lower (due to depression) and we weren’t having as much sex.
I felt unloved and not pretty and not wanted. He felt pressured and uninterested.
We’ve worked through it now and are getting a lot better communicating on the subject as well as making sure we take time for each other. But it brought up for me, how important sex is in our relationship. I knew he loved me and he supported me the whole time, he took care of me when I was sick, he gave me alone time, he made me laugh and think. But without sex, I felt a bit…unsure.
Of everything and nothing and it was tiring.
So for me, yes sex is a huge part of our relationship and always will be.
What does sex mean for you?
(ps: I asked my husband if he minded if I wrote about our sex life and he said he doesn’t care. I might share more in the future, not sure what though.)